don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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