And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
