dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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