ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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