I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
