well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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