He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
