Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
