i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it's like iHOP with fire
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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