Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.