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• (248): View more from Michigan

  well I can't set my house on fire every night

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• (915): View more from Texas

  After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.

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• (818): View more from California

  Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (716): View more from New York

  i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY

  (765): View more from Indiana

  I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.

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