Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.

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  (518): I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw. http://tfl.nu/ptpv
  Replies (36) Good night (1456) Bad night (1562)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.

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  (240): Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates. http://tfl.nu/bvcb
  Replies (17) Good night (3803) Bad night (806)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video

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  (914): Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video http://tfl.nu/m72m
  Replies (43) Good night (11389) Bad night (959)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Marry him

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  (503): He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song. (1-503): Marry him http://tfl.nu/vquy
  Replies (39) Good night (9389) Bad night (1049)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine

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  (703): She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine http://tfl.nu/jb79
  Replies (41) Good night (785) Bad night (5370)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.

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  (412): words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing. http://tfl.nu/a6am
  Replies (45) Good night (1446) Bad night (6929)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt

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  (412): Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt http://tfl.nu/ilc7
  Replies (27) Good night (2813) Bad night (1590)
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  (310): View more from California

  for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.

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  (310): for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex. http://tfl.nu/87fe
  Replies (18) Good night (4134) Bad night (1120)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean

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  (715): He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean http://tfl.nu/eek7
  Replies (12) Good night (2007) Bad night (861)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.

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  (816): Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland. http://tfl.nu/1rj2
  Replies (3) Good night (1904) Bad night (526)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.

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  (570): If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it. http://tfl.nu/cvsi
  Replies (3) Good night (848) Bad night (375)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"

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  (501): You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS" http://tfl.nu/6ckr
  Replies (0) Good night (610) Bad night (306)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.

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  (425): So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy. http://tfl.nu/7bpm
  Replies (2) Good night (581) Bad night (349)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.

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  (615): my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything. http://tfl.nu/13l7
  Replies (10) Good night (1098) Bad night (312)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.

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  (402): You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton. http://tfl.nu/mhhg
  Replies (3) Good night (367) Bad night (182)

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