He is such a slut. More and more my type.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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