Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?

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  (540): is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO? http://tfl.nu/qgse
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (453)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.

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  (512): the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like. http://tfl.nu/1vno
  Replies (18) Good night (2004) Bad night (757)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.

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  (917): I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/srjh
  Replies (8) Good night (2977) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him

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  (917): Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him http://tfl.nu/5c6r
  Replies (144) Good night (17685) Bad night (2938)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.

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  (508): You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life. http://tfl.nu/6ito
  Replies (10) Good night (959) Bad night (2592)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.

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  (605): I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry. http://tfl.nu/w271
  Replies (10) Good night (5312) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever

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  (778): we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever http://tfl.nu/5buf
  Replies (8) Good night (4088) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"

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  (317): sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president" http://tfl.nu/8jue
  Replies (21) Good night (6737) Bad night (1470)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas

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  (907): the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas http://tfl.nu/bksv
  Replies (42) Good night (4702) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps

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  (757): I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps http://tfl.nu/vrde
  Replies (4) Good night (2999) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.

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  (973): Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover. http://tfl.nu/7xqn
  Replies (10) Good night (625) Bad night (1349)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.

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  (231): My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/e8qk
  Replies (7) Good night (1741) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.

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  (951): Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night. http://tfl.nu/gbx1
  Replies (10) Good night (1008) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?

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  (778): On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check? http://tfl.nu/1mv7
  Replies (7) Good night (1012) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Campus is too small for this to keep happening

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  (617): She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud. (802): Campus is too small for this to keep happening http://tfl.nu/z6hi
  Replies (1) Good night (614) Bad night (290)

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