I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought