You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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