I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i love accidental penises.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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