Sponge bath it is.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
