I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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