Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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