weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize