Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She bit a glass in half.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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