Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
