I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
