You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
