omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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