Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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