oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
