I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
