that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
