Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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