yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
