Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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