in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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