I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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