6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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