ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We left the knife in your bed.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
