so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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