so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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