She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
