I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
