So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
