There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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