STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Dignity is for republicans.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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