You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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