There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize