I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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