I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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