how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Your dad touched me again.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
