I am in a vortex of obligation.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
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She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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