one two three fourrrrnication!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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