Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
there is glitter all over my balls
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