So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
