Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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