what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
