Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
