You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
