If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
