So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
