capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize