I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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