don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
