that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Houston, we have a blender
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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