So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
