smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
