if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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