just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
