I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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