Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
